"And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another,
even as God in Christ forgave you." Ephesians 4:32
I was sitting outdoors enjoying a perfect autumn afternoon. There was gentle breeze blowing through the trees leaving in its wake that peace which surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7). My neighbor, who is not a football fan, was watching the Seattle Seahawks play the Cincinnati Bengals, a game which they lost in overtime 27-24.
Why, you might be asking, if he's not a football fan, would he show such interest in this game?
As it turns out, his great-niece and her husband are both Seahawks fan. Over the course of time, their relationship broke down leaving him hurt. That hurt eventually turned into anger and bitterness.
The average football game lasts three hours. Given this game went into overtime, I couldn't help but think of how much time and energy he wasted out of bitterness and unforgiveness. It takes a lot more energy to hold onto to unforgiveness than it does to forgive because forgiveness is about releasing. Pastor Jimmy Evans once said that when you hold onto unforgivenss, you are forever attached emotionally to that event.
I remember a story Oprah Winfrey once told about the day she was taught a lesson about unforgiveness. She had been withholding forgiveness from someone who had offended her. One day, she spotted this person on Michigan Avenue in Chicago going into one of the really nice stores, happy as a lark. In that moment she realized that they didn't care one bit that she had been holding a grudge against them.
I don't know the reason for the breakdown in the relationship between my neighbor and his great-niece. Part of forgiveness, as Iyanla VanZant put it, is giving up the hope of what could've been. There will probably be a lot of "could've beens" that he will have to let go of. The greater tragedy would be for him to never experience the healing that would come from turning the situation over to God regardless of the outcome.
Sitting at His feet,
Valarie
Sitting at His feet,
Valarie
