The Other Brother

"And he was angry, and would not go in: therefore his father came

out and entreated him (to come in)." Luke 15:28

With the advent of the holiday season I find myself drawn more and more to the story of the Prodigal Son (Luke 15:11-32) and the love the father showed both sons. Even though the younger son left home and squandered his fortune, he didn't wait for him to crawl back begging for forgiveness. He ran out to meet him. 

When the older son who stayed home was angry, the father, in his joy that his younger son who had been lost but was now found, could have easily ignored him; but like with the prodigal brother, he went out to him, inviting him to come inside and enjoy the festivities. 

The holiday season is a time for reconciliation and forgiveness, for putting aside differences. Is there a friend or family member who, out of pride or unforgiveness, remains standing outside refusing to come in? Why not extend to him or her the gift of grace and hospitality.

Sitting at His feet,

Valarie

When You Just Can't Let It Go

"And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, 

even as God in Christ forgave you." Ephesians 4:32

I was sitting outdoors enjoying a perfect autumn afternoon. There was gentle breeze blowing through the trees leaving in its wake that peace which surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7). My neighbor, who is not a football fan, was watching the Seattle Seahawks play the Cincinnati Bengals, a game which they lost in overtime 27-24. 

Why, you might be asking, if he's not a football fan, would he show such interest in this game?

As it turns out, his great-niece and her husband are both Seahawks fan. Over the course of time, their relationship broke down leaving him hurt. That hurt eventually turned into anger and bitterness.

The average football game lasts three hours. Given this game went into overtime, I couldn't help but think of how much time and energy he wasted out of bitterness and unforgiveness. It takes a lot more energy to hold onto to unforgiveness than it does to forgive because forgiveness is about releasing. Pastor Jimmy Evans once said that when you hold onto unforgivenss, you are forever attached emotionally to that event. 

I remember a story Oprah Winfrey once told about the day she was taught a lesson about unforgiveness. She had been withholding forgiveness from someone who had offended her. One day, she spotted this person on Michigan Avenue in Chicago going into one of the really nice stores, happy as a lark. In that moment she realized that they didn't care one bit that she had been holding a grudge against them. 

I don't know the reason for the breakdown in the relationship between my neighbor and his great-niece. Part of forgiveness, as Iyanla VanZant put it, is giving up the hope of what could've been. There will probably be a lot of "could've beens" that he will have to let go of. The greater tragedy would be for him to never experience the healing that would come from turning the situation over to God regardless of the outcome.

Sitting at His feet,
Valarie

Terms & Conditions

Photo courtesy of Flickr

As I been forgiven much in my life, there has also been much that I've had to forgive. Over the summer I recalled a painful incident from my childhood which still stung as though it happened yesterday. When I addressed it and found a way to forgive, one very difficult yet important lesson came out of it. In order to forgive, I had to take "me" out of the picture. Forgiveness was impossible as long as I focused on the pain and the offenders. When I allowed the offense to be less about me, healing and forgiveness were inevitable.

We often withhold forgiveness because we believe that by offering forgiveness, we're letting the offender off the hook. NEWSFLASH!!! They were already let off the hook when their sins along with your and mine were nailed to the cross.

When someone offends us, the pain can sometimes cut so deep that we will only extend forgiveness on our terms. We wait for the offender to come to us asking or even begging for forgiveness; but as we see in the story of the Prodigal Son (Luke 15), the father didn't wait for his son to come to him asking for forgiveness. The only term he offered for forgiveness was love (Luke 15:20).

The amazing thing about forgiveness is that when God forgives us, He blots out the offense as though it never happened. Words cannot describe how awesome it feels to not only receive this kind of grace but to extend it to others as well. There is no offense so great or pain from that offense so great that His love, mercy, and grace cannot cover. (1 Peter 4:8)

Sitting at His feet,
Valarie